She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
