there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
