Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
