It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
