She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
