There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize