People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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