hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
