I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
