How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
