I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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