Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
