I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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