I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
