Sry I called you an 8
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
