I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
false alarm. still invincible.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
