That's intense
My first STD was from a foam party
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I just blew my weed a kiss
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
