you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
