No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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