Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Randomize
