Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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