Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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