I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Found your dick twin last night
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
