my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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