he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
