Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
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