How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I am naked and annoyed.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
