How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
