Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
is that a dick in a sweater?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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