my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
