'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
