Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize