It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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