I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
