this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
