I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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