I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
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