he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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