The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Randomize
