I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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