I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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