Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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