I skipped work to stalk him.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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