R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Randomize
