Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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