My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
