dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
