Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
