Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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