So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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