Grow some girl-balls and come out already
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
