i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
