i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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