We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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