the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Shame - the story of my life.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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