Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
