Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
