If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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