He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
