okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
