Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
