We're facebook friends in real life
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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