is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
