part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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