sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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